An Instrument for Unlearning
Listen to the audio and join the conversation on Substack: An Instrument for Unlearning.
In our infancy,
we are an uncritical sponge —
soaking in a soup unchosen.
It is, for most, a broth based on
love and hope and good intentions,
yet, still seasoned with assumptions.
We accede — without question —
to the biases of our acculturation,
to be guided by its rituals, trained by its taboos.
So our life begins:
accreting these agreements, unthinking,
into a shell born of our socialization.
Now, this shell is not us, but
others will mistake it for us; in truth —
we will mistake it for us.
And so what?
The shell seems safe enough,
ensconced, as we are, in its sameness.
Without the shell,
we would be vulnerable,
our essence exposed, our value weighed.
So, we stay in our shell,
secure in our place;
unseen, we become insensate, asleep though awake.
It’s a road we all first travel,
and some may never leave, but
judge them not too harshly; some souls need the sleep.
And yet, life permits a different path —
perhaps, our courage could contend
to crack this shell, this façade we slumber deep behind.
But, how are we to separate
our secret self, our silenced voice
from this hardened mask we wear?
Life, of course!
Those simple moments.
Those special moments.
Those difficult moments.
Each is an opportunity —
if we but pause to notice it —
to dislodge our mask, to disrupt our domestication.
With each swing of our attention,
we chip away our mask, our shell,
by reflecting on those rituals, by pondering those taboos.
And can we keep them? No, not as they were;
but we can choose anew what fits us, and
jettison the rest.
This is our task, our work —
to accept our secret self,
to love our singular voice.
And will this path prove easy?
Oh, sweet child, no.
Many who at first break free, later search for glue.
Just remember,
only you can play your part;
no one else will do.
The universe gave this life for you
to venture forth, to boldly cry:
I am here. I am here. I am here.
And as your voice rings out,
listen closely to who replies:
We see you. We see you. We see you.
Several recent books that I’ve read make an appearance in the themes of this poem. If this poem stirred something up, you might find value in reading some of these books:
Kishimi, Ichirō, and Fumitake Koga. The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness.
Kishimi, Ichirō, and Fumitake Koga. The Courage to Be Happy: Discover the Power of Positive Psychology and Choose Happiness Every Day.
Ruiz, don Miguel, and Janet Mills. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom.
Sanford, Carol. No More Gold Stars: Regenerating Capacity to Think for Ourselves.
Shah, Idries. The Sufis.
